Social Respect: Reducing Social Friction

We've all heard the general rules before of don't murder, don't steal, etc. But these don't cover the more simple things like how to properly act in a group, or have a conversation. If everyone followed some simple guidelines for interacting, the world would be a much better place. Here are some guidelines I think everyone should follow when interacting with one another:

1. No one should ever ONE UP another when having a conversation. This is where you try to get in control by breaking the other person down. We should never violate someone verbally and break through a person's boundaries. Do not talk above one another, do not talk below one another, talk with one another.

2. No one should ever interrupt another person when speaking. The only exception would be to stop someone from completely dominating a conversation. If two people start talking at the same time, both should stop and gently communicate to the other to go ahead.

3. No one should do what I call BARKING. This is where we blurt things out very sharply. We should delicately telegraph and ease into what we say. This leaves everyone else at ease and not afraid to participate in the conversation. Often someone more timid is afraid to start talking because they might be cut off by a stronger and louder person.

4. No one should dominate a conversation when in a group. The group should work to have a balance where everyone speaks as equally as possible. More talkative people should help and invite those more shy to participate. Everyone in the group should work to find a balance.

5. No one should talk very aggressively or loud or mumble and talk to low.

6. No one should ever demand anything from someone else.

7. No one should EVER walk around with a smirk or haughty look on their face.

8. People should refrain from attacking one another personally.

These sound so simple and you may think why even write them down. But the reality is that rarely do we follow these rules of respect. If everyone followed these simple guidelines when speaking with one another, I think a lot of friction would be avoided. There is a natural eb and flow all around us. We should all try and wisely stay within that flow whenever possible. There are times when social friction is merited, but we should try to avoid it at all costs.

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